Garden Humor: Kiss My Aster / Chat Interview

Kiss My Aster is the motherlode blog of wiseacre gardening. Trying to hold a conversation right now with Amanda Thomsen is sort of  like going after a greased watermelon. First off she's pregnant - so when she's not at work she's sleeping. Second she still has the energy of several large draft animals or at least three strong women. And her thoughts sort of race around like a cornered badger. She's absolutely hilarious and though I tried to pick when she was at low tide (holiday season and pregnant) could still barely stay even. Here's our conversation - first on twitter then we migrated over to gchat. This picture to the left here by the way is her mantel decoration this christmas. Amanda's blogging is awsome and  really like her foursquare stream. 

kissmyaster I emailed you promptly at 3:30. Now I am delayed for my appointment for my Chanel suit fitting. I am totally kidding. 

metro_gardening Can you chat now?

kissmyaster GChat would be easier, #justsayin

metro_gardening Ok cool then give me a sec to switch...

Amanda: hit here I mean hi 

Amanda: please don't hit me 

MG: Hit you?  

Amanda: yes, I said "hit there" instead of "hi there" 

MG: So you were saying about decorating for the holiday... 

Amanda: Yup. My husband does most

of it because he's got Buddthe Elf Syndrome 

and I do alot of outdoor decorating for work I haven't really lifted a finger  

around here for the holidays....YET Although I did pick out our theme, Star Wars Christmas 

MG: Nice 

Amanda: I was supposed to hang a small vintage rug 

above the mantel today, but I fell asleep instead 

MG: How far along are you in your pregnancy? 

Amanda: almost halfway! and I'm miserable... 

MG: A www... 

 Amanda: Anywhoo- if it's warm enough this weekend, I'm going to spray 

paint @ 8 foot spiral topiaries I pulled out of the garbage. 

MG: So the sleepies are winning... 

Amanda: 2, not @ I am so sleepy! and my job is just physical enough 

that... well, I sleep in my truck when I can 5:01 PM MG: And somehow still pull 

8" trees out of the trash? Err 8 foot 

Amanda: Well, I ask my dudes to help me. They think I'm nuts, but they do it. 

MG: Oh perfect every pregnant woman should have dudes 

Amanda: I think on my first meeting them I asked them what Spanish 

was for "Dumpster Diver" and they cracked up I have 2 crews at work, not like, 

dudes around the house- shirtless and serving me grapes and stuff 

MG: Seneorita garbagio 

Amanda: That is EXACTLY what they said! I didn't know you were 

a polyglot!

MG: Ah no big muscle guys with fans? 

Amanda: I have a small house, it would only irritate me

 MG: Heheheh how are you going to fit the topliarys in there? <<<< will edit spelling later 

Amanda: They are mostly dead, so I'm painting them silver and 

bookending them at my front door  I plan on removing them 

sometime in September 

MG: Actually that sounds really good! And yeah after they are 

there why not leave them 

 Amanda: Yeah, it should be cool. I've been meaning to tackle this 

project for a while but the temperature has really been... 

relentless and I was waiting for a family member to say, "Hey pregnant lady! You 

want those spray painted? What a good idea! I'll do that for you!" But I have 

realized it's not gon na happen. So I got a surgical mask and I'm ready to attack it. 

MG: So 8' giant silver trees most people would stop there right? I 

mean falling asleep after that makes sense But I get the feeling there's more 

Amanda: I have always been very, very industrious. That's why pregnancy sucks 

so bad, my productivity has dropped by,like, 40000% percent. 

MG: So that makes you only 3 women then..... 

Amanda: Right! 

MG: I'm glad to get this interview with you at "low" energy... 

Amanda: I'm not getting around to cookies 

this year- but I do have a SPANKIN' idea for a wreath if I can get myself awake 

long enough to tackle it I JUST woke up, too. 

MG: Oh do tell 

Amanda: I'm so cranky and thirsty 

MG: Come on tell tell tell us the idea 

Amanda: I'm not telling you 

my wreath idea, it's too... earthshattering 

MG: Come on no one will no Only three people read this blog 

Amanda: I'll be happy to tell you about it after 

I've pulled it off and the earth has shattered Only 6 people read mine, so.... 

MG: Then how will me and my wife and cat and your sister and mom know? 

Amanda: I'll let you know when I make it, then all 9 readers will be all "WTF 

was that???? A WREATH???" At least your cat reads your blog, my dog told me not 

to quit my day job. ok, so moving on. 

MG: LMAO About the wreath... 

Amanda: I have undertaken the DUMBEST move a pregnant woman who works full time, writes 

as much as she can for money and has a demanding dog and needy husband and codependent 

sister could do... 

MG: ??? 

Amanda: I told my Christmas loving husband 

that I would, starting Decemebr 1st. make the  

house into a giant advent calender 

MG: You are making a what? 

Amanda: so each day, I race home from work to hide 

a gift for him, and mark it's hiding place with a creatively made number And it's 

killing me  in fact, I forgot to hide today's and he'll be here soon... 

MG: Wait I think I get this... Every day you hide a gift... What is it today before  you log... 

Amanda: it's the 17th, so he has to look for a number 17 on 

a door, drawer, cabinet, maicrowave... nice spelling on Microwave 

MG: Grin 

PM Amanda: today it will either be socks, a box of Jingles or a rad Hot Doug's 

shirt... I'm not sure which MG: What's under the 17? Ah Amanda: I think I will 

hide it in the shower, and pin the numbers to the shower curtain 

MG: Awesome thanks wet socks 

Amanda: Well, I don't plan on turning the faucet on, or anything 

that would ruin all my crazed running around 

MG: At the end of advent is it you? It be great if it were your baby :)  

Amanda: Dan wants me to do it next year for him AND the baby. I explained to them that only one would 

enjoy it... he didn't seem to care 

MG: Heh 

Amanda: He just wants me to keep doing 

this for him 

MG: Well it's very sweet and creative 

Amanda: And I'm getting resentful... but isn't that what Christmas is all about? 

MG: Yeah but not so much that you stop 

Amanda: I took last weekend off- I just couldn't keep up... 

MG: Hahahahah yeah baby's and sweet creativity and family ... Pretty much  

Amanda: Pretty much 

MG: I'm glad you rested that was good for you.... 

Amanda: It's hard for me to sit still- but I gotta! 

MG: Ok so what's your favorite flower to look at? 

Amanda: Passionflower 

MG: Why? 

Amanda: What a dorky answer but... 

MG: Not reallly why do yo,u like them 

Amanda: Because it looks like someone 

was doing inhalants when they designed that flower 

MG: Hahahah 

Amanda: some huffing was going on! and I love Dahlias, can't get enough 

MG: Ok Dahlias... 

Amanda: I could look at it for days and still ask.... I mean, it's the flower world's platypus... 

 MG: So you like weird and colorful like odd shaped flowers? That's funny 

Amanda: I don't even really care that much about flowers, honestly. i love texture and colored 

leaves and making a good garden. I often don't have anything blooming. I think 

that sometimes, flowers are tacky... (See above answer!) 

 MG: Do you anything to say about natives vs cultivars 

Amanda: Plus, I like to grow a lot of edibles... 

MG: Awsome 

Amanda: Well, here's my deal. I think people should grow whatever 

makes them happy, if it's natives- awesome. If it's Petunias, awesome 

MG: Perfect 

Amanda: I'm not one much for natives at this point in my life, because I have 

a garden the size of a decent closet  but if I had land? i would make sure 

to restore some prairie But I don't, so SCREW NATIVES I'm TOTALLY kidding 

MG: Grin 

Amanda: I try to not get soap boxy, it's just gardening. After all...